Thoughts pass through my mind...

Thoughts pass through my mind often of things I might write to the blog if time allowed. I had thought that finishing my BSN would create space for a more balanced life, but instead, it pulled me into a higher degree of responsibility at the clinic spending most of perceived free time working many evenings and weekends.

In October when the PHN Coordinator position became vacant, I was asked to apply but declined, thinking that it was beyond my abilities and a position that I definitely didn’t want to fill. I was reluctant, but agreed to fill in as the Acting Coordinator, thinking that it would be a relatively short assignment. Four very rewarding and life-changing months later, we’ve filled the position. Time seems to be opening up again.  We’ve also filled one of the two open nursing positions and Bertrand is back from four months of paternity leave. We’re for the most part, just about fully staffed. We’re recruiting for one more nurse if anyone knows of a BSN who wants an adventure in the Arctic!  

I often dream of work while sleeping and wake with it on my mind even though I’ve prayed, meditated and cleared my mind before resting. I imagine that this will subside with less responsibility over time. I’ll have passed on what I know of being a coordinator to Andrey who joined us in late February, by early April and will go back to more clinic appointments and less administrative work. We’ll work on monthly and quarterly reports together and then with just occasional coaching, he’ll be taking over the role.

I’m in my element during client visits, assessing children, providing education to parents and those old enough to understand, giving immunizations and of course, blowing bubbles. I’ll deeply miss the responsibilities of serving as the coordinator though and of seeing the bigger picture. Attending North Slope Borough and State of Alaska management team meetings allowed me to understand PHN’s role in relationship to other entities in our community and state and to practice leadership skills with the people I supervised. It allowed me to be in on some of the decision making that impacts our program and services.

Supervising was a lot easier and much more enjoyable than I had imagined! I was fearful of stepping into this role, having never supervised before. I found that the mindset of the office staff that I oversaw was an important key to how my experience turned out. I was very fortunate that they wanted someone to lead the clinic, to make decisions, to write the reports, to meet with upper management, and to approve purchases, time sheets and vacations. They wanted someone who would be responsible for running the clinic and our services in the villages, so graciously supported me in every way. Our common goal was to work together and continue offering high quality public health nursing services while critically short-staffed. They wanted someone who would dream about work and take leadership seriously.

The first several staff meetings I facilitated still make me smile but all subsequent ones, even more so. At first, there was an expectation that I would do all or most of the talking, make directives and thank them for coming. This seemed backwards to me--in front of me were five and sometimes seven individuals with experience and ideas as well as concerns that, if fleshed out, could have a dramatic effect on clinic operations as well as help each of us reach a higher level of potential. Early on, when I asked for contributions from each person, I saw downward looking glances, yawns and noncommittal body language. It was a bit unsettling and definitely now enjoyable. However, with repeated encouragement, over time, one by one, people began to share things that were important to them, ideas for improvements, and concerns that could be addressed as a group. Instead of quiet monologues, our meetings have become like a classroom full of creative thinkers. In reflecting on this, it’s very powerful seeing people become animated and engaging. Relationships seem to be good between each of us and we’ve increased PHN services. I truly loved and am extremely grateful for this chapter of work here, discovering that I was capable of leading and of being instrumental in sustaining a public health program.

I was asked to keep all extra hours worked on an Excel spreadsheet but to use them within the same pay period. Because of recent changes in our local government, it’s against Borough policy to accumulate administrative time. Because it wasn’t possible on many days to accomplish all that needed to be done without putting in 12 or more hours as well as working weekends and holidays, it was even less possible to take the time off. I continued to document my hours, knowing that they most likely wouldn’t be recompensed. Part of being a salaried employee is that one works when needed so although I was extremely tired and had some feelings about this, being outside of a normal situation, I was prepared to clear the cells of my spread sheet and call it good. I mentioned this in a meeting with the Health Department Director and she asked me to instead write a memo to the Mayor, outlining the reasons for working extra hours, requesting the use of 75 hours of admin time off in lieu of vacation. She called two weeks ago with the news that he had approved my request. I’ll hit the clear button on the balance of hours on my spreadsheet, considering it time very well spent and completely enjoy two weeks off in April, extending it to three, using a week of personal leave for a much-anticipated vacation.

It’s ironic that I lobbied for advancement to a PHN III position over a year ago and was told that I’d need to demonstrate that I had the skills to run a clinic independently to earn that designation. Having been given an unexpected opportunity to do that, I’m now a PHN III.

I’ll finish the fall TB skin testing with the other nurses here in Barrow and in the villages I serve, mentoring nurses who will take over Kaktovik, Nuiqsut and Point Lay, and say farewell by early to mid-November. These past five years have been some of the most enjoyable and meaningful I’ve ever experienced but nothing surpasses being part of a family…especially one that encouraged this adventure and is now happily welcoming me back with open arms.